Bird's Eye View

Daddy (Mario) went to a Missions conference for 5 days and left me to experience the joys of being a single mother to a newborn. There was no joy. But there were lessons learnt. Like icing your eyes makes the swelling go down really quickly, before you are seen and have to explain why you look like you’ve been beaten to a pulp. Anyhow. Apart from the practical lessons of dealing with a newborn alone, I learnt a lot about myself and about God. Some questions remain unanswered for the time being, but that’s Ok. One of the lessons that stood out was about neglecting God while trying to do things for Him. Here’s how it played out: Judah needs his mummy for everything. He needs his mummy when he’s hungry, he needs his mummy when he’s tired, he needs his mummy when he has a dirty diaper, and he needs his mummy just to hold him to feel comforted and safe. So the only time his mummy gets to have a bathroom break is when he is asleep. But there are so many other things to do during

I threw a small...well, medium sized tantrum at God last week. It’s only in looking back that I can admit that it was a tantrum. I’ve seen (on Tv) the little kids rolling on the floor in the supermarket aisles, screaming at their parents because they aern’t being given what they want from the shelves. I suppose, from the child’s point of view, they believe their parents are not really thinking straight and don’t see how important that snack is to them, and how much they really need it. What’s totally gone from the child’s mind is that the parent really does love them above anything else, and has probably made numerous sacrifices to provide for their needs. The time is drawing nigh for my child to be born. On a tangent...yesterday was mother’s day, and I was slightly disappointed for not being recognised for the mother that I am and have been for the last 8 months. I have been protecting, and feeding my child, and sacrificing my own needs and comforts so his can be met. Was it a co

One year ago, today, I said my wedding vows and we laughed and didn't eat a drop of food. It wasn't a Monday tho :) And the more I look around and see 'so much trouble in the world', I realise that we haven't lasted a year because Mario is a great man of God nor because I've had wonderful family upbringing. It really has very little to do with who we are, because all our righteous acts will still amount to filthy rags (1) . No, this year's milestone is here because of God. I found out today about another young married couple that isn't together any more. I think about people that have gotten pregnant outside of wedlock (not always by choice) and the shame that goes along with it. I think of death robbing people of their one year anniversaries. And I think...this is really not about me or any great strength I had that kept my pants on, or kept my husband alive and faithful.  So what about the good things that I have done? It is not I, but Christ that

I am a stay at home...wife. The ‘mom’ part is still pending. It wasn’t my plan to stay at home and, well, clean. At 22years old, I was the youngest vet ever to register in Jamaica at that time. My next move was to work and get financially settled, then get married and continue working. I did plan to make the unorthodox, radical move of staying at home when I got pregnant (didn’t want to take the risk of getting needle pricked with some drug that could harm my baby). This was not the norm around me, but I thought it would be the best thing for my children. But here I am...no children born yet, but I’m still at home. Initially, it was my immigration status that prevented me from working, and I gladly took up my ‘role’ of ensuring that when my husband came home from a hard day’s work, he would also see that I did a hard day’s work too: immaculate house, home cooked meal, etc. That ideal slowly dwindled as I lost interest in sparkly floors. I was bored. Was this really what God intended? I