Yoda

Have you ever had to take the bus with 2 babies? Do you know that those children come with equipment? Like a stroller to get to and from the bus stop. Or a super-sized diaper bag, cause if something goes wrong in town, there’s no jumping into a car and driving home.

Have you ever been kicked off a ZR with expletives being hurled at you because you had all that stuff taking up more space than the driver would like? Or being forced to pay for an underage child because he fell asleep on a seat that an adult should occupy even though the bus still had space? Have you ever tried to push a stroller with one hand and hold a baby and an umbrella with another because the rain started right as you got off the bus?

 Have you ever had to change a baby on your lap at the bus stop with passing cars staring, while watching the toddler so he doesn’t run off into the traffic? Why didn’t I go to the restroom close by with the changing station? Because I had been at that bus stop, in the sun, with 2 children for about half hour and I couldn’t afford to miss that bus. It would likely be another hour before the next one came.

Have you ever felt so bad for snapping at your husband, simply because you had all that frustration pent-up and you finally popped?
Oh! This car means so much! The Lord has not forgotten. He is not blind. He is not asleep. He has remembered us.

There were so many days I just felt stuck. I just wanted to get out of the house, or take my children somewhere fun, and I just couldn’t deal with the idea of taking the bus again. And there were many days when I did venture out, with my invisible superwoman cape, and held my head high and had a fun day out. The pride welling up because I was the woman that wasn’t too stuck. I knew how to balance two children on either leg, with a stroller in between and a baby bag underneath my feet. I was the brave one. The one without the excuses.

Undoubtedly, not having a vehicle has solidified my standing as part of the King family. I don’t like to be vulnerable and to trust, so it was important for me to learn how to be a King. Don’t get it wrong, they welcomed me with open arms from day 1 (6 years and 1 day before getting this car, to be exact). I’m so grateful to have had all that quality time with my in-laws during hours and hours of drives to and from St.Farlip.   

I don’t think I would know anything about Tenisha if I didn’t have to get a ride home with her from Womens (an independent small group). I really enjoy those rides. There are so many people I got to know from the passenger seat of their car.

Town and the bus is where the real Barbados comes out: The language and the personalities, the warmth of the Bajan people. The way they look out for each other and help without being asked. To see the relationships that exist between the ‘regulars’ on a particular route, and learn the unspoken rules of transit; It is a wonderful experience. There are mostly good days on the bus.

I don’t think my days of taking the bus are over, but I am grateful for this break.

I keep wondering about God’s big grand plan. Maybe I’m being egotistic to want to be ‘more than an ordinary servant’; to get a special call to some exotic location.
I’m starting to think that this is what He wants: That the location is not the focus, but the actions. People have been and continue to selflessly serve our family, and that is what I ought to do. I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to be an Israelite, that I forget these last 6 years on the bus and all the people that have looked out for us during that time. And I don’t want to forget that it is God who provided this car, and not some grand effort of our own.
I want to remember and I want it to change me.
Bird.