DEEP on the Logos Hope Part 3: Further Thoughts

Part 3 of a 3 part series (Find part 1 here and part 2 here)

I had mentioned that I lost my voice in Part 2: A Day in the Book Fair. Here’s how that happened:

About 2 weeks before the Logos arrived, the boys caught a cold. It got so bad for Ezra that I had to rush him to the polyclinic to be nebulized. Now, my immune system is quite friendly, and for some reason, feels it needs to experience everything my children do. I was fighting it so well, not a single sneeze. But my throat was starting to get sore a day or two before the ship arrived.
It crossed my mind that maybe the Enemy didn’t want me to go, but I put on my belt of Truth, cause I knew that what God wanted would happen. So I never needed to give that another thought. I prayed and had others praying, and I moved forward.
I didn’t seem to get a cold in the usual way, but my voice was pretty much gone by the day the ship arrived. Working in the Book Fair requires a lot of talking so I wondered if I should just stay home. I went anyways, sucking on Halls all day and trying to use my smile more than my words. Another volunteer, Deidrea, gave me some wonder drugs from her own personal stash. My voice came back within half hour of drinking it that night! I praise the Lord for her and I praise the Lord for modern medicine.
When I first saw Deidrea, I didn’t think we had anything in common in order to get along well, but I was so wrong. I felt a real camaraderie with her, both in the enjoyment and struggles of working on the ship.

Some of the morning shift volunteers in the partner lounge, with Ofa front and centre.
Deidrea is in the pink shirt in the front. 

It was also great getting better acquainted with a few others volunteers I had met before (or who knew Mario, lol) and meeting new people.

Gabby, Ofa and Ning, the volunteer coordinators, put together a really nice farewell for us local volunteers. We had a chance to present in song, poetry and eats, and share about our experiences. It was a fitting end with feelings of both gratitude and sadness, but even more expectancy to see what the Lord would do next. Some people signed up to go on the ship, some to another country.
Me? Well...I believe the Lord wants me to stay. It’s kind of the opposite to what I imagine usually happens. I figure most people want to stay put and the Lord has to nudge them out. I want to go, but throughout my time on the ship, in various ways, I felt the Lord leading me to look at what He had already given me to do: Mother my boys.
How long have I fought it? How long have I dreamt of being in a far away location, living inconveniently for the Lord? (And I often forget I’m not in Jamaica, so I am away!)

Was I simply chasing the ‘Christian-celebrity’ status that we wrongfully place on Missionaries? Was I not understanding the special role I was already playing? I don’t have the answers really, but I have to keep doing what I believe God is saying.
Maybe I’ll get to use my wiser years after retirement on the field, if the Lord allows me to live so long.
Right now, I will continue to try and motivate others to go, and I will continue to support Missions from here, by giving and praying.

Me and Mario with Dewayne at the Volunteers Farewell

All the DEEP volunteers with Gabriela (standing, 5th from right)
and Ofasia (standing 2nd from left)

All of Us!

Captain Judah

I went up to Ezra, the day after my time on the ship had ended. Ezra is not a mushy boy, but he gave me a big hug and said ‘I’m happy you are here with me’. I told him I wasn’t leaving anymore to go on the ship. We were both very happy about that.
I really have to tip my hat to working mothers. I came home tired, and didn’t want to think about my responsibilities. I’m so glad my mother was with me to keep the house in order, etc. I had to leave very early in the mornings, and if I had something else to do after leaving the ship, my boys were already in bed when I got home. How would I have any real relationship with them if this was a regular thing? And how on this earth would my marriage survive? But working mothers do it all, and I have a higher level of respect for them now, and a greater appreciation for my own job.

I did notice that I spent almost no time on social media. I was too busy in the real world to need the connection that FB/Whatsapp provides when I am at home. I also felt a lot closer to God. That is the usual ‘mountain top’ experience when you spend a concentrated time with other Christians, and are constantly focusing on the Lord. I just have to find a way to replicate that. I’m thinking 5:30am wake ups are not as bad as I thought, to start the day before anyone else wakes up, just me and my Lord.

I look forward to whatever else the Lord has in store. I have a feeling I will be pleasantly surprised, as it has already taken a different path to what I had imagined. I am thankful for this experience on the Logos, a real dream come true. Next stop, Mission trip to Israel?
Bird.

Mummy and the boys at the beach. Work hard and play hard.