I wanna get outta here

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So the internship isn’t what they said it would be. It feels so horrible being deceived. All sins are the same, but sometimes it feels like lying is the worst of them all. They have great PR…maybe animal assisted therapy used to happen sometime in the past, but it isn’t happening now.
Green Chimneys is a wonderful institution. The kids do receive great treatment and there are many success stories. So I’ve gained way more than I could have imagined being here and interacting with the kids. It’s just that I didn’t gain anything I did come here for (AAT)…and it sucks when U’ve been deceived. That’s all. And I also know now that cleaning stalls is not an enjoyable experience. Hopefully it has burned some of my excess adipose tissue 
So why do I wanna get outta here? Because the kids aren’t here…the idea was that a kid would work along with us, and it would be therapeutic. But the kids are on a semi-vacation this week and next (my last weeks)…so all we interns are doing is cleaning and cleaning and cleaning. And I’m tired of it, mainly because the whole deception was to get someone to do animal care (feeding and cleaning) and claim AAT as the hook to catch us stupid fish.
I did commit to staying until the 31st, and I spoke to my boss to try to work on some of my days off, so this time without kids would be cut shorter, but she didn’t agree. And I have been reminded that as a good little Jesus girl, I need to stick to my commitment regardless of the fact that they didn’t.
I was asked yesterday (while venting my displeasure to a close friend) if I would do exactly the tasks I’ve ended up doing now if someone had asked me to. My immediate response was no, of course not. He pushed further and asked if I would do it if it was Wycliffe that had asked…and I knew where he was going, so I ‘escaped’.
Being proven wrong …I hate that more than anything else. But it’s the only way to start change. I need to change. I’ve been stubborn long enough. I’ve tried to stand up for my rights long enough. The Lord seems to have been pushing the ‘give up your life’ lesson for so long, and I keep failing and having to re-do the course.
I can’t keep running away. Sooner or later I’m gonna have to face it and become a better person.
VM.

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