I'm Not From Around Here
Conference is over. Praise God! In some ways, we did a lot this week. In others, we just did the same thing every day. Like worship in the mornings...I had to ‘mature’ into singing songs JUST for the lyrics. All the songs were slow, European sounding things. Like from the 70s and 80s. Imagine mixing worship music and hymns. No likkle clappin, no rocking. Nuttin. I really did miss Jamaica in those times. But by the end of the week, I was singing with gusto (and like an opera singer too), because I was forced to concentrate on those words, and words about Jesus never grow stale!
But, this should also be encouragement for more young people to come on the Missions field man. I need you and Jesus too! And it would also be nice to not be one of the two black non-African people here. I say that because the first missionary to Africa was a black Jamaican. He ‘returned’ to his roots to bring to them what he had received. Jamaica is all over in so many other things...bad and great. But why is it Germans and Swiss and Americans and Koreans on the Missions field? Where are we? I will not chastise in this post. But are we being obedient? And the skin colour does seem to make a difference in reaching the people. (Won’t expound on that today)
The great thing about conference is that all the missionaries are here and this is the time when they get to voice their opinions. So not only did I get to hear about all the various teams and projects happening in Chad, I got to hear of the problems, and the international leaders were there to explain things, and work through stuff. So I don’t just get an airy idea of being in the bush, I get the truth of all the issues involved. I get to see husbands and wives and children and how all those things fit together in a location so very different to their ‘homes’. I have so much information in my head to sort out and pray through. Could I deal with the possibility of civil unrest? Could I raise a family here? Could God want me somewhere else?
The word Alien comes to life. I met one couple that met during training to come on the Missions field. They’ve only been ‘home’ to NZ for a total of one year since being married in the 70s! And they chose NZ to call home because it was where their children went for further schooling. There is no place to be bound to. Just a God. This is not our home anyways. There isn’t really anything to hold on to except dirt. I will always be Jamaican, and will always consider it ‘where I’m from’ when I’m asked, but it’s just something else that should be that easy to let go of if God said so.
Another thing alive in my mind is money and how much we depend on it. We say we trust God, but we allow money (or the lack there of) to limit what we do or how we do it. I know money is very important, but it distracts sometimes from the fact that we have a God that can work without it. (I think the harder things is seeing God work when we have an abundance of money) It’s a very tricky topic, and something I still have a lot to work through in my mind.
I will have to come back to Jamaica at the end of this stay and try to find people that will support me financially, long term. (no, not something I am looking forward to, but a reality) I would love it if God sent a Raven with a wad of dollars each month...so I could really boast that God’s been providing, but God has made His family such that we have to depend on each other. Individualism has crept into our culture, where the village no longer raises the child, but blames the parents (or Kartel/Movado) for the problems instead of blaming themselves. People have said ‘your mission’ to me, and I think to myself that it is really ‘our mission’. God, me and them. If only I could make them see how meaningful they are, even though they are not here. Where would I be without their prayers or e-mails of encouragement? The body needs feet, but the body also needs hands and eyes.
I will make myself stop now. I am learning so much by just allowing God to show me things.
Highlight of the week: My Chadian friend coming to visit me and using google translate to help us have a real conversation at last! J
Downside: Feeling a little like I’m living on hall again. But it’s alright, and it’s probably just in my mind.
VM.
But, this should also be encouragement for more young people to come on the Missions field man. I need you and Jesus too! And it would also be nice to not be one of the two black non-African people here. I say that because the first missionary to Africa was a black Jamaican. He ‘returned’ to his roots to bring to them what he had received. Jamaica is all over in so many other things...bad and great. But why is it Germans and Swiss and Americans and Koreans on the Missions field? Where are we? I will not chastise in this post. But are we being obedient? And the skin colour does seem to make a difference in reaching the people. (Won’t expound on that today)
The great thing about conference is that all the missionaries are here and this is the time when they get to voice their opinions. So not only did I get to hear about all the various teams and projects happening in Chad, I got to hear of the problems, and the international leaders were there to explain things, and work through stuff. So I don’t just get an airy idea of being in the bush, I get the truth of all the issues involved. I get to see husbands and wives and children and how all those things fit together in a location so very different to their ‘homes’. I have so much information in my head to sort out and pray through. Could I deal with the possibility of civil unrest? Could I raise a family here? Could God want me somewhere else?
The word Alien comes to life. I met one couple that met during training to come on the Missions field. They’ve only been ‘home’ to NZ for a total of one year since being married in the 70s! And they chose NZ to call home because it was where their children went for further schooling. There is no place to be bound to. Just a God. This is not our home anyways. There isn’t really anything to hold on to except dirt. I will always be Jamaican, and will always consider it ‘where I’m from’ when I’m asked, but it’s just something else that should be that easy to let go of if God said so.
Another thing alive in my mind is money and how much we depend on it. We say we trust God, but we allow money (or the lack there of) to limit what we do or how we do it. I know money is very important, but it distracts sometimes from the fact that we have a God that can work without it. (I think the harder things is seeing God work when we have an abundance of money) It’s a very tricky topic, and something I still have a lot to work through in my mind.
I will have to come back to Jamaica at the end of this stay and try to find people that will support me financially, long term. (no, not something I am looking forward to, but a reality) I would love it if God sent a Raven with a wad of dollars each month...so I could really boast that God’s been providing, but God has made His family such that we have to depend on each other. Individualism has crept into our culture, where the village no longer raises the child, but blames the parents (or Kartel/Movado) for the problems instead of blaming themselves. People have said ‘your mission’ to me, and I think to myself that it is really ‘our mission’. God, me and them. If only I could make them see how meaningful they are, even though they are not here. Where would I be without their prayers or e-mails of encouragement? The body needs feet, but the body also needs hands and eyes.
I will make myself stop now. I am learning so much by just allowing God to show me things.
Highlight of the week: My Chadian friend coming to visit me and using google translate to help us have a real conversation at last! J
Downside: Feeling a little like I’m living on hall again. But it’s alright, and it’s probably just in my mind.
VM.
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